No news there, I know.  But sometimes the sheer force of this truism overwhelms me.  There are two issues in the news around my home province these days that are drawing more attention than H1N1, if you can believe that.  The first is the proposed sale of our provincial electrical utility to a neighbouring province’s; the second is a proposed by-law in the city of Dieppe that would force business owners to make exterior signage bilingual.

Let’s examine the first one first.  I won’t pretend to be an expert on all the nuances, but essentially the facts as I understand them are as follows:  Hydro Québec wants to pay about $5B for most of the assets of NB Power.  NB Power has not been well-managed in the last few years, including a couple of well-publicized and expensive screw-ups like a botched purchasing arrangement of orimulsion fossil fuel from Venezuela and an $800M+ cost overrun on the Point Lepreau nuclear generating station refurbishment.  NB Power is also carrying $4B+ in debt.  Why would Hydro Québec want such an albatross?  Well, for one reason, it is fundamentally a sound infrastructure, despite the recent woes; but more importantly, our (NB’s) transmission grid is the only way to get power from the vast hydroelectric projects in Labrador into the lucrative New England market (other than through Québec itself).  So we have something they want (access), and they have something we want (money and proven management strength).  Sounds like a good deal, right?

When it was first announced a few weeks ago, it came with another perquisite – the new utility would lower industrial power rates by 30% (arguably creating jobs), and freeze residential power rates for 5 years.  I figured it would be a slam-dunk for public approval, with that one-two punch benefit to people’s wallets.  Except it hasn’t been – the paper today said that 60% of citizens are AGAINST the deal.

The reasons for this are, as the title of this post implies, in my opinion, irrational.  They range from, “we can’t give control of our power to a Frenchy separatist foreign bohemian province-state,” to, “they’re OUR dams/coal-burners/towers/wires/jobs – what will we sell next?   The Bay of Fundy?”  I haven’t heard a single argument that says it’s a bad business decision, only ones that lean on these emotional triggers.

The second brouhaha going on is Dieppe City Council’s stated aim to pass a bylaw that would require all NEW exterior business signage to be bilingual, or optionally, French-only.  A bit of background for non-NBers:  Dieppe is about 70% francophone.  It is part of the Moncton metropolitan area, which also includes Moncton (about 30% francophone) and Riverview (about 10% francophone).*

To my feeble mind, it seems like a harmless, and perhaps even beneficial move.  It would incur no cost to anyone, except for the incremental paint expenditure for a new business owner.  It would add to the Acadian pride of the community, and make it a more charming destination for Americans.  For God’s sakes, there are already French-only signs on some businesses (Croissant Soleil, Restaurant L’Idylle), and nobody has had a life-threatening episode so far.

But for some reason it is bringing to many people’s minds the L’Office de la Langue Française, Bill 101, and the “Language Police” in Québec in the ’80s.  Which is a totally inaccurate analogy – Bill 101 was about eliminating  a language from public view; Dieppe’s move is about promoting  a language.

I feel sorry for the politicians that are trying to reason with the populace about these issues; because the ones that are raising a ruckus are beyond  reason.  If I were marketing these messages to the public, I would ditch the rational arguments and create some emotional ones.  How about, “We’re not selling our utility; we’re using our unique geographic position to screw the Québecers out of 5 billion dollars!  That’s over $7,000 for every man, woman and child in New Brunswick!”  And, “We’re not imposing language legislation, we’re creating a tourist attraction!  The continent’s only bilingual sign city!”

* Numbers made up, but probably accurate ± 5%.

Back in July, I attended the 25th reunion for the class of ‘84 at UNB.  Part of the allure was that is was also a get together for many of the cast and crew of the ‘81, ‘82, ‘83, ‘84, and ‘85  Red ‘n’ Black Revues.  We all had a tonne of fun, including re-enacting perhaps the biggest and best production number that UNB’s annual variety show has ever seen:  the Time Warp/Sweet Transvestite numbers from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I have woefully few pix from the event, but my pal Eric Langshur has posted a good mix here.  That’s me sporting the skull cap in the role of Riff-Raff.  Unfortunately, the skull cap looks more like a condom.

As I’ve mentioned before, I very rarely literally LOL when I’m reading, watching, or listening to funny stuff.  Not that I’m not entertained – it just takes a lot for me to actually utter audible laughter.  Well, a SINGLE PANEL of Scott Meyer’s latest Basic Instructions comic got me to LOL for at least a minute this morning:

The rest of the strip is here.

I am on the “E-panel” of the Fredericton Daily Gleaner, which means I am periodically asked to contribute my opinion about what kind of issues the editorial staf there should pursue.  Here is their latest request:

The Daily Gleaner wants to know what you think are the most important ongoing story topics. Is it improving the quality of education for our children? More accessible health care? Contributing to a cleaner, greener environment? Reductions in property crime?

Here is my reply:

I am firmly of the opinion that the number one, and perhaps the only significant, issue facing society is education.  Not just “quality” of education, but re-thinking the entire process.  Our existing school paradigm is designed to systematically pound the individuality and creativity out of our children over the course of 12 years.  If we remove the constraints, they will solve health, ecology, crime, war, economy, etc. all by themselves.  

The very smart people who have made strides in science, sociology, art, diplomacy, etc. have all done so by BREAKING the mold, not working within it.  Our existing school model was born during the industrial revolution when what the “machine” needed was a whole crop of identical drones who knew basic math, communications, history, science, etc, so they could become effective cogs in the production complex.  That was fine for its time, but that time is over.

Students are already trying to break themselves out of the status quo using Web 2.0 and other social media.  But they keep getting dragged back in – you must get good marks so you can get a University degree so you can make good money and afford to send your kids to good schools so they can get good marks so they can get a University degree, and so on.  Bullshit.

An extremely courageous parent can change things for their children by home-schooling, but that is still considered “weird.”  For ALL children and parents to embrace a new form of education, it has to be publicly sanctioned and publicly funded and become the new normal.  For the version of this argument from a smarter man than me, watch this:

 

Yesterday, I was in Manhattan for the day for a meeting.  Afterwards, I took the NYC subway and New Jersey Transit commuter train back to Liberty Newark airport.  My flight left the gate right on schedule, and then we proceeded to spend 70 minutes in line waiting to take off.  Our pilot said we were 30th in line.  As we accelerated down the runway, I counted 50 aircraft in line behind us, most of them wide-body jets.

This happens to me almost every time I leave Newark at around the end of the business day, so I presume it happens the majority of the time, at least at that hour.  And of course, all of them have to leave their engines running, so they can inch forward when required.  I have no idea how much fuel an A340 or 777 uses while “idling” but I presume those big, honkin’ Pratt & Whitneys consume more that your average Prius.

It seems to me that arranging things so that 80 planes aren’t all trying to leave on the same runway at the same time wouldn’t be that difficult.  Perhaps I should call Al Gore.

BTW, when I image-googled “planes waiting in line” this was the best shot I could get.  They’re mostly 727s, so this shot is probably from c. 1980, but is IS Newark — you can tell from the 5 smokestacks in the background.

My wife (Cindy) and daughter (Bishop) recently returned from a week in Montréal, where Cindy and I met.  Specifically, we met in a bar on Bishop Street.  I was working at Grumpy’s at the time, and Cindy’s best friend (Robyn) had a brother who worked at a bar 6 doors down called Déjà Vu, who was a friend of mine (the brother).  I was visiting him one afternoon just before my shift at Grumpy’s, and Cindy and Robyn were sitting at the bar, so I got introduced.  One thing led to another, and Cindy and I were married 25 months later.

During our courtship, we attended a church service for some reason, and I mentioned that one of the ditties in the hymnbook had been penned by and ancestor of mine.  O Little Town of Bethlehem was written by Bishop Phillips Brooks.  Cindy said, “That would be a neat name for a kid!”  I said, “What, Phillips?”   She said, “No, Bishop.”  I remarked that that was his title, not his name and she said she knew that.  I asked, “Boy or girl?” and she replied, “Girl.”

So flash forward 10 years or so, and we are living in Vancouver and pregnant.  Of course the question of baby names comes up, and we decide on some combination of James and Harold (our fathers’ names) if it’s a boy, and Bishop if it’s a girl.  There turned out to be two X chromosomes in our offspring, so Bishop it was.

The funny thing is, everyone who knew us from our Montréal days, said, “Oh, isn’t that sweet – you named her for the street where you met!”  Our response was along the lines of, “Umm – yeah.  Sure.  That’s what we did.”  It had never even dawned on us that that connection was there.

Anyway, whenever we go to Montréal, there is an obligatory pilgrimage to Bishop Street and Grumpy’s bar, as evidenced by these pix.  And my enduring love for bartending and bar management, which occasionally surfaces in this blog, comes from my 4 years at Grumpy’s.

BTW, Bishop’s middle name is Evelyn, after my maternal grandmother.  Other grandmothers didn’t get in the running, because they had names like Claribel Fern Scovil and Rosalia Hyschinski.  And it’s pronounced EEEEvelyn, like in evening, not EVVlyn, like in Kevin, because, as her namesake used to say to me, “Who ever heard of Adam and Ev?”

BTW2, the reason there is no apostrophe in the neon sign is because of Québec’s language laws.  “Grumpy’s” would be an english  word, whereas “grumpys” in just a made-up one.

 I was reading the New York Times review of the new Star Trek movie, and saw this comment in the readers’ area:

“this movie was awesome. not a huge old school ST fan but knew of it…this one blew the others away, i found myself looking at my phone hoping there would be more time left than there was and it would keep going…”

Did you get that?  He looked at his PHONE to see the time.  Not his watch.  This reminds me of back in 1996 when I bought my first cell phone, for my wife.  We were out for a walk and she asked me if I knew what time it was.  Now, I haven’t worn a watch for years – there’s something toxic about my perspiration that corrodes most metal (and leather) at an alarming rate.  The only element I can wear next to my skin is Au.  Anyway, I said, “No, but have you got your phone on you?”  She replied, “You want to CALL someone and ask them the time?”

So back then, many people still hadn’t cottoned on to the idea that cell phones are much more than simply telecommunication devices.  Of course, these 13 years on, that’s more true than ever.  Now “phones” are Web browsers, GPSs, music players, video cameras, and, of course, clocks.  Scott Adams muses in his blog about what they will probably become in the future.

Of course, I can’t fight progress, but I hope that when Scott’s predictions come true, they (the ubiquitous “they”) will have figured out how to make the user interface simple enough for the average idiot like me.  I’m not quite so bad that my DVD still flashes “12:00,” but that’s only because it reads the time from the cable signal and adjusts ITSELF.

I am genuinely curious about the behaviour of the elevators in the building where I work.  As I am frequently in on the weekends, and often the only person in the structure at that time, I have noticed a peculiar phenomenon that others probably miss.

Some background:  the building has seven floors, plus a basement.  There are two elevators – the one on the left serves the main (ground) floor through 7; the one on the right goes to the basement as well.

When either elevator drops you off, it doesn’t stay where it left you.  The one on the left always goes to rest at the 4th floor; and the one one the right always goes to park at the fifth.  ALWAYS.

It would seem to be a waste of energy to move the cars for no reason, especially since if it has just discharged a load on the ground floor, that’s the highest probability for the next rider to summon it to.  Why not just stay there?

I considered the fact that they may go to some mid-point where they can respond most quickly to a request from ANY floor, but that doesn’t make sense – if they were trying for rapid response, the one on the left (which services 7 floors only) should indeed hang out at 3½ (so we’ll say 4 is OK), but the one on the right (which also handles the basement should be at 3, not 5.  AND, when I am calling a car to the ground floor from their default resting places, the one from 5 always comes to get me, not the closer one.

Is it possible that it takes more energy to hold a car at G than at 4 or 5?  Is that why they always return to those floors?  Does anyone know anything about elevator efficiency algorithms? 

As an aside, I wonder about the naming conventions of “floors” and “stories.”  In Europe, the main (ground) floor is usually called “Main” or “Ground” or “Lobby” or something like that.  And the level directly above that is called “1.”  In North America, the floor immediately above the ground level is called “2.”  Do you think it’s because when the first two-story structures were built, the upper level was the only one with a “floor,” since the main level would have dirt or mats or thrushes or something other than a floor?  So the second STORY had the first FLOOR.

Continuing in the series (1, 2, 3) of inexplicable marketing images, here we have a variation: an inexplicable marketing lifeform.  This is the official mascot for the 2010 IAAF World Junior Track & Field Championships here in Moncton.  You can read all about it here.

It has no name yet; there is a city-wide contest to decide that.  I’m hoping that when it is eventually named, the moniker will give me a hint as to what it’s supposed to BE.

Let’s consider the elements.  The basic body shape appears to be a carrot.  Then there are the bunny ears, a quite shocking sky-blue hue.  Next, the face, which features Bonhomme Carnaval’s eyes and nose, cheeks that look very chipmunky, a gaping maw reminiscent of the Joker from the Batman comics (not the movies), and a suspiciously lascivious tongue peeking out (but no teeth!)  And there’s an odd strap-like thing that appears to be hold the face to the head.  The appendages appear to be whale flukes, and are the same shade as the ears – it’s odd to see such an abrupt change of color in an animal’s coat, so I guess there is clothing implied.

There is a tonne of great stuff going on in Moncton these days.  We have a mayor who is committed to the promotion of arts, culture and heritage.  We have so far avoided the international economic turmoil.  We stand a good chance of being named the world’s most intelligent community in New York this week.  We have all kinds of regional, national, and international events on the horizon.  And yet the best we can come up with to greet the world’s athletes next year is this mutant vegetable-animal cloths-wearing sexual deviant.

Sheesh.

Hey, you with the short attention span!  Pop a Ritalin and invest 4½ minutes to watch this cool video.